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OK : Warning this is going to be a really rough draft. But I've been thinking about this for years and I'm finally getting to the point where I can sorta-write about it. I know - I come up with big Ideas, but it can take months/years to say them - it makes for sucky conversation. And the latest post on SM-F triggered this. Because I see one attitude in rape and the other in BDSM I guess.
One of the things that bugs me is the way stoicism gets put up on some pedestal and masochism gets dragged through the dirt.
Stoicism - going into a bad situation DESPITE the fact that you hate it for the benefit of others.
Masochism: going into a bad, dangerous, scary, difficult situation BECAUSE it's something you can enjoy or get something out of that might benefit other people.
It seems that the first one makes you a hero, the second one makes you a creep.
I can't afford to be stoic, it's like my mortal enemy. I see myself stuck in a bad situation that I don't want to be in, frozen because I should just be self sacrificing and put up with it. Going Numb. I see myself turning away from enjoyable things (that others might even appreciate me doing) because I might enjoy them and that would be sick.
Or dancing trough flames, unharmed. A plant rooted in bare rock, my face turned towards the unmitigated sun, the monsoon deluge.
(Or in Dune, transforming the Water from poison into the stuff of visions ;) )
Numbness and pain, or joy.
My experience with SM and Hypersensitivity/Autism actually are mutually beneficial because they both show how to enjoy myself even if it means doing something different than other people find enjoyable. I can put a soft limit on sustained social interaction and noisy places (and cold :( ). I can fully enjoy 100+ temperatures. My body can perform miracles, It Comes First. No matter if what it wants is not what it's supposed to.
One of the things that bugs me is the way stoicism gets put up on some pedestal and masochism gets dragged through the dirt.
Stoicism - going into a bad situation DESPITE the fact that you hate it for the benefit of others.
Masochism: going into a bad, dangerous, scary, difficult situation BECAUSE it's something you can enjoy or get something out of that might benefit other people.
It seems that the first one makes you a hero, the second one makes you a creep.
I can't afford to be stoic, it's like my mortal enemy. I see myself stuck in a bad situation that I don't want to be in, frozen because I should just be self sacrificing and put up with it. Going Numb. I see myself turning away from enjoyable things (that others might even appreciate me doing) because I might enjoy them and that would be sick.
Or dancing trough flames, unharmed. A plant rooted in bare rock, my face turned towards the unmitigated sun, the monsoon deluge.
(Or in Dune, transforming the Water from poison into the stuff of visions ;) )
Numbness and pain, or joy.
My experience with SM and Hypersensitivity/Autism actually are mutually beneficial because they both show how to enjoy myself even if it means doing something different than other people find enjoyable. I can put a soft limit on sustained social interaction and noisy places (and cold :( ). I can fully enjoy 100+ temperatures. My body can perform miracles, It Comes First. No matter if what it wants is not what it's supposed to.
