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On Relationships of Different Kinds
There is no one kind of relationship that has some special magic that makes it superior to all others. Or all that different from others.
I've seen this said a lot of different ways. I've heard that straight relationships are more based in love than gay ones. I've heard that monogamous relationships are more true to love or sensible than poly ones. I've heard polyamorous relationships held up as more sensible and loving. That mentally disabled people's relationships are not as full.
All of this is wrong. All of these have the capacity to be wonderful, glorious. Or to be hurtful.
All intimate relationships have the same standards - The consent of the participants. The respect and compassion with which they treat eachother. Whether the relationship enriches both of them. Whether it leads to healing, growing, blossoming. Whether the relationship enriches the community around them.
The outward forms of these things may look vastly different. They should look different. Shaped by the people in them. But they're not some weird exotic thing. They have the same heart.
I've seen this said a lot of different ways. I've heard that straight relationships are more based in love than gay ones. I've heard that monogamous relationships are more true to love or sensible than poly ones. I've heard polyamorous relationships held up as more sensible and loving. That mentally disabled people's relationships are not as full.
All of this is wrong. All of these have the capacity to be wonderful, glorious. Or to be hurtful.
All intimate relationships have the same standards - The consent of the participants. The respect and compassion with which they treat eachother. Whether the relationship enriches both of them. Whether it leads to healing, growing, blossoming. Whether the relationship enriches the community around them.
The outward forms of these things may look vastly different. They should look different. Shaped by the people in them. But they're not some weird exotic thing. They have the same heart.
no subject
no subject
Ewww.
I've been spared hearing this opinion so far.
How far are they defining disabled?
But seriously, even people who used to be called retarded can love. How exactly do people imagine they can not? My fricking cat can love, as well as just about any cat or dog in the world. I would not be surprised if all mammals can love. (I don't have much experience with non-mammals.)
(Do you know what people who used to be called retarded are called now? From what people say about teenagers insulting each other I gather 'retarded' has become a bad word. If people with that condition want to be called something else, I'll call them something else. And I don't really feel like mortally offending their caretakers either. But I don't know what term the people prefer. It's not a topic I can remember hearing anyone talk about except my mom once when I was a kid.)